Bittersweet

Today was a bittersweet day. My friend from work had her baby this morning - a little girl. I knew it! She thought it was a boy this whole time, but I had a gut feeling that it was going to be a girl.

I also found out that a fellow endo co-worker (who was starting the process to adopt) is pregnant with twins. Naturally. I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to insult her, but I was like.... "really?!?" And she is having a boy and a girl! So lucky!

I was hoping that would be me in a few months, but now I feel like it won't be since it's so unlikely that two people at such a small office will be preggers with twins. Isn't that crazy? I secretly had this crazy hope that I would end up pregnant with twins and that we would find out it was a boy and a girl. Pretty stupid, huh? I guess that is why it's called a "dream." I am so fearful of this upcoming IVF. I fear that I won't respond to the medication or that I will only have a few eggs, but of poor quality. I worry that they will transfer three ( if I even get that many) but none will take. Or they will take and I will miscarry. So many fears, so much time to worry...

Sorry to ramble. While I am happy for all my pregnant/new moms friends out there, it really escalates my fears. Off to bed to forget about this bittersweet day.

Dallas Girl
xoxo